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A miracle diet for those that can’t be bothered

This man did everything the diet told him to

A new style of dieting that allows you to eat and drink whatever you want, without exercise, has been completely unsuccessful. 

The ‘Easy Diet’ claims that ‘simply being happy, rather than restricting yourself in any way, releases endorphins which use up the extra calories produced from your gluttonous eating and general laziness.’

Fatty, Bertha McChubs said, ‘It just sounded too good to be true!’

‘I have always found that exercise just makes me so tired and I can’t help the fact that I love food so much.’

‘However, I must say, I haven’t noticed that much of a difference since starting the diet.’

Her husband, Bluto, has been on the diet for 15 years.

‘When I first heard of the diet, I thought to myself, ‘this is very similar to the diet that I have been on for my entire adult life.’’

‘However, in the last 15 years, I have put on 15 stone and I am not too happy about that. Maybe I have stopped producing those endorphin thingys.’

The creator of the diet, Ritchie Ripped has even come out to say that he would be amazed if it did work.

‘It does say in the small print that this is very unlikely to actually produce results.’

‘But people have always told me to try and make money doing something that I love. And, I have always loved bullying fat people.’

‘Now, not only is everyone who has bought in to the diet still fat but they must also feel incredibly stupid.’

‘High five.’

Photo: By FatM1ke (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

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